LEGO News – May 24, 2016

James: Have you seen Newcastle’s St James’ Park and Sunderland’s Roker Park recreated in LEGO? It’s an ambitious project to recreate 92 English league and Scottish Premiership football (soccer) grounds.

Jeff: That is a lot of dedication. But do they fold together and pop-up?

James: No, but –

Jeff: Do they exist in a mesmerizing video set to music?

James: No, but –

Jeff: Then they are not the pop-up Himeji Castle, which you would swear was the result of CGI.

James: They are not. But they are still cool. Maybe not pop-up, hurt-my-brain, Himeji Castle cool.

Jeff: Besides LEGO as LEGO this week we saw a lot of LEGO as not-LEGO. That is to say, other, less useful stuff.

James: LEGO used as door drawer knobs! Just don’t fall against them in the dark!

Jeff: LEGO used to make unnecessarily gold-plated LEGO bags and accessories!

James: LEGO covered in conductive paint to make a keyboard! Because why settle for littleBits or Makey Makey when you can make a device that only plays in the key of nostalgia?

Jeff: But lest we get too nostalgic for 90s cynicism, let’s take a look at an article with Lene Friis, a managing director at Lego’s Education division, who gives her thoughtful thoughts about LEGO’s past, present and future.

James: I like the positivity she discusses, and the introspection that LEGO does as a corporate entity.

Jeff: But because we are fair and balanced –

James: We are neither of those.

Jeff: – we will stop and look at a research paper that asks “Have LEGO Products Become More Violent?” While it lacks the immediacy and/or existential emptiness of clickbait it’s still worth a read when you have a quiet moment.

James: In completely unrelated news, here’s an article with the headline “The X-Men: Apocalypse Trailer, Done With Legos, Is More Badass Than You’d Imagine”

Jeff: And as a cool down after that let’s learn about how London gets a new LEGO shop.

James: Now that we’ve covered Real News, I think it’s time for us to look at Realer News, AKA what’s new over at the LEGO Shop now that we are spiffy new LEGO Affiliates. Are you wearing your Affiliate badge?

Jeff: I had it tattooed over the Fabuland mosaic on my back.

James: Good call, people will stop running from you in fear now. So where to first, Jeff?

Jeff: Take me to the Air Show!

James: No can do, I’m currently over admiring the scenery at Lighthouse Point.

Jeff: But you offered to take me somewhere nice for once. Alright, not a problem. I’ll send over my private jet and treat you to some Airport VIP Service. You know, because I’m a thoughtful and reliable friend. You can pick me up on the way to the Air Show.

James: Can’t you send the Volcano Supply Helicopter? That way we can provide a volcano with some much needed supplies. Plus it’s a helicopter. And helicopters are cool.

Jeff: Nope. Best I can do is call in the Airport Cargo Plane.

James: Fiiiiiiiine. Though it’s not a helicopter I guess that’ll do. But it always has to make an emergency landing at the Service Station. It’s like me on a long trip with too much coffee.

Jeff: It’s not my problem that my pilot is impatient and fails to plan ahead with his refueling. And is also not licensed to operate commercial aircraft.

James: You know what, I’ll leave the Lighthouse now and pick you up in my Airport Starter Set. If you’re willing to trust your pilot then surely you’re willing to trust me. I have exactly zero point zero hours of flight time in, but at least I’m honest about my abilities.

Jeff: Whatever. I’m done waiting around. I’m going to leave my Vacation Getaways early and drive my camper to the Air Show. Besides, this bear is starting to get on my nerves. I’ll meet you there.