LEGO News – April 12, 2016

James: Hey Jeff, do you have anything precious you’d like to protect in a near indestructible shell?

Jeff: My children?

James: Perfect – now my calculations and the internet tell me that if they step inside this specially designed LEGO cocoon and they happen to be launched, probably by some freak accident caused by nature, out of my LEGO catapult, they will be totally fine.

Jeff: I have faith in LEGO. I do not have faith in you.

James: Look, it worked when someone dropped their perfectly not broken and hardly expensive at all iPhone 6s off a 100 foot drop.

Jeff: Why would someone do that?

James: Science? Like the internet kind that doesn’t have a strong working hypothesis, a lack of scientific rigour and isn’t easily replicable.

Jeff: Makes sense. Let’s start with my youngest child, he’d probably enjoy the LEGO catapult.

James: Great! Before we start let’s watch this video about LEGO getting destroyed by a hydraulic press.

Jeff: I’m suddenly feeling less confident about this whole thing.

James: Dude. I promise I won’t put the LEGO cocoon in a hydraulic press. It’s wayyy too big.

Jeff: Why don’t we take break from all this imaginary heavy work and watch some LEGO Friends.

James: Won’t we be just falling prey to gender stereotypes? Won’t we just be supporting a two-stream LEGO universe where boys and girls don’t learn how to play together?

Jeff: Sorry, what are you jabbering on about? Seriously, be quiet, we’re missing the plot. Go read this article about LEGO Friends.

James: OK, all done. Was the takeaway that we should just let kids follow their interests? If my son wants to watch space stuff explode and my daughter likes to imagine the Friends rock tour I should be supportive?

Jeff: Huh? Sorry, James, that was like three hours ago. You really need to work on your literacy. I’ve been busy over here planning how I’m going to get my hands on that Tesla Model S.

James: Look, if I’ve told you once I’ve told you three or four times – I’m not joining you in a life of crime just to support your sports car hobby.

Jeff: But if we don’t support this Tesla Model S on LEGO Ideas it will never come to fruition!

James: But it is autonomous?

Jeff: No.

James: Then I won’t be giving you my plasma just yet.

Jeff: How about if instead of making your LEGO creations autonomous we added some other cool functionality?

James: Like lasers?

Jeff: Exactly like lasers, but also not like lasers at all. Go take a look at Brixo’s Kickstarter, they tell us “Brixo building blocks bring your designs to life with electronic sensors, motors and connected apps.”

James: That sounds cool. But will they drive my kids to school in the LEGO Tesla Model S?

Jeff: No.

James: Will they drive my kids to BrickCan?

Jeff: No. But that shouldn’t stop you from attending BrickCan if you were smart enough to order tickets ahead of time!

James: All available tickets for the Public LEGO Exhibition have been sold, and their Adult LEGO Fan Convention roster is completely full?

Jeff: Yes.

James: Whoa. Then maybe people who missed BrickCan should begin booking their flights to Malaysia.

Jeff: What?

James: For LEGOLand Malaysia. Daniel and Christopher Steininger, father and son Lego master builders, will be building a 200,000 piece Millennium Falcon.” Visitors will able to help out.

Jeff: I wish I could go, but I’m going to be busy singing our national anthem at a baseball game.

James: I’m confused.

Jeff: Baseball is the one where you try to hit a ball with a stick before running in a “diamond” pattern.

James: Please don’t treat me like a complete idiot. I’m vaguely aware of it. They play it in winter and try to run with sharpened blades on their feet. I mean I didn’t know you were a professional singer.

Jeff: LEGOLAND Discovery Centre Toronto has put together a LEGO sized stadium and display, and I have to go there and share my gift of singing with the ABS crowds.